Would I ever admit it? No
by Lily Alice Cullen Black
Summary: Written for the writing contest Ten Years After in Mibba  This is Snape's perspective on the events that have happened ten years after the epilogue


Did I expect him to be there when I died? No. Did I want him there when I died? Maybe. Was I in any way glad he was in that godforsaken house when I died ? Yes. Will I ever admit that? Never.

If I ever wanted something it was to see Lily's eyes one last time before I left the world that never wanted me. If it had to be done through James Potter's son well that's just my ever so ironic luck.

Now I spend my time watching from afar the life's of those who thought they finally had uncovered my true motives. Perhaps they had but they will never find out. They will never understand the pain and the suffering I went through in my life. It is futile that they even try. I do not need their pity. I got along just fine without anyone feeling sorry for me and now that I am dead they should respect that.

The blundering fool of Potter had insisted I have a funeral. He had fought till they put my goddamn portrait up in the headmaster's office. He had even named one of his spawns after me. The poor creature had the horrible name of Albus Severus and all because his father couldn't live his life hating me. No he had to live his whole life remembering me as a hero. Even after my passing the Potters still felt the need to disrupt my memory. It was unbelievable, it truly was.

Then there was Ms. Granger or Weasley as she is currently known. That was one of the few students that actually had any promise in the world. Well she did till she married into the family of red haired menaces. It was a sad day that one. It is however her own fault and I believe no one could've done anything to stop her. Her offspring was a half developed version of her. Probably thanks to the genes of the ginger abomination.

My godson came to worst at the end of the war as it was very much expected. He barely managed to get off Azkaban. His father wasn't so lucky much to my pleasure. He is still currently in Azkaban and a quite amusing sight for my bouts boredom. Draco got married and had one child by the name of Scorpius. Just like his father but a bit more humble. That I blame it on the mother. Astoria was never on par with the Slytherin's pride.

All of the second graduated happily and incredibly enough most of them with extremely high grades. Yes my godson's and even Ms. Weasley's were not a surprise but everyone of Potter's progeny passed which is even more astounding than him passing. Last I checked , because I don't spend all my immortal life looking at the Potter's ever so interesting life, they were all headed into the Ministry for high ended carriers .

Of course if that wasn't shock enough , and it was , the news of Scorpius' wedding was. Not because of the actual event but because of the who he was marrying. Rose Weasley or Malfoy now. The fathers of both had been in an extreme uproar but the two had no respect for animosity that had lasted for at least three generations. The mothers were no help. The fools were all for helping them and in the end there was a grand wedding for the two idiots that felt the need to break one of the few reminders of life before the war. Now Weasleys and Malfoys had to be in the same room for family events and visits.

And despite this minor incidents most were happy and finally living a normal life. It was the case of the famous trio who I am sure people believed would never have a normal life. That is if they even survived the war. Which they did and it is something ,that though it cost me to say, I actually am glad for. Despite all that I hated , matter of fact still do, James Potter his son did not deserve all that came his way. While I never groveled to his feet and most of my life I spent making his life a misery, I still somewhere deep in my soul, if I have any ,feel bad for the teenage years he had.

Do I feel like my behavior affected him negatively? That is subjective . Do I feel bad about said behavior? Perhaps. Should I have felt more compassion towards the boy? Yes Will I ever admit that ? No

Wherever I am to be found life is amazingly redundant . I find myself in Hogwarts yet again and every morning I wake up , cause we dead spirits actually sleep, in the chambers that haunted me for nearly two decades. From there on I am free to roam the after life .

I have found many of the wars casualties . Remus and his wife Nymphadora are rather fond of bothering me with meaningless greetings. The Weasley atrocity number 4 has already bothered me 3 times with meaningless pranks and once about a year ago to apologize .That one was a rather shocking event but then again people have just been astonishing me left and right. I once received a note of apology by the one person I wanted nothing to do with. But no Gryffindors just don't know when to leave things. They have to do the noble thing, even if they would rather crawl into a hole full of slimy gunk. The only person I had wanted to see , to talk to never came.

Did that hurt me? Emotionally. Was I regretting the life I led? Not in the least. Do I think however that it was my fault? Conceivable idea. Would I ever admit it? By no means.


End file.
